Author: Gwen Stone
Becoming a caregiver was not a path I chose, but one that life thrust upon me and my family. My father was a Type-A, highly driven attorney. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the age of 68 and passing in 2015. Watching him transform from the focused, sharp man I had always known into someone who would occasionally seem lost was heartbreaking. His eyes were the first thing I noticed—there was a look of confusion that I had never seen before in him. That was when I knew something was terribly wrong.
The official diagnosis was devastating, but in some ways, it was a relief to have an answer. However, nothing truly prepares you for the challenges of caregiving. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was to join my dad in his world, rather than insisting he stay in mine. At first, I would try to pull him back to who he used to be, expecting him to remember things or act in ways that he simply couldn’t anymore. Over time, I realized that I had to let go of the idea that I could change the course of this disease. Patience became my guiding force, and I focused on bringing him comfort instead of holding onto the past.
Adjusting to this new normal—an ever-changing normal—had been incredibly difficult. Every day was different, and I had to learn to let go of expectations. One memory that really stood out for me was when my dad could no longer sort the silverware from the dishwasher. It was such a simple task but seeing him struggle with something that used to be second nature was a harsh reminder of how much Alzheimer’s had taken from him.
Caregiving had impacted every part of my life. It’s took a toll on my personal relationships and my overall well-being. There were days when I felt completely overwhelmed, but I learned to leaned on my support system. The Alzheimer’s Association was an incredible resource for me. From connecting with other caregivers to learning about legal and financial planning, their services helped me navigate the journey with more confidence and less isolation.
In June, I decided to start fundraising for Alzheimer’s research and support where my where my fundraising has exceeded $11,000 and almost at my $12,000 goal. I’m training to run in the Bank of America Chicago Marathon on Sunday, October 13, 2024. Running has become a way for me to channel my energy into something positive, and it feels good to know that I’m contributing to the fight against this disease in a tangible way.
For anyone just starting their caregiving journey, my advice is this: don’t try to do it alone. Lean on those who’ve been through it, and tap into resources like support groups, financial planners, and healthcare aides. This is a situation where it truly takes a village. Planning ahead, whether it’s retrofitting your home or looking into memory care facilities, can make a world of difference.
Staying hopeful is a challenge in the face of a progressive disease like Alzheimer’s, but I found small moments of joy with my dad before his passing. Even though he had changed, there were still glimpses of the man I knew, and I held onto those. Resilience came from accepting what I couldn't control and doing my best to make the time we had left as meaningful as possible.
Everyone can help in the fight to end Alzheimer's. Join the cause by staying informed, making a donation or becoming an advocate for those living with Alzheimer's disease and their families. Please consider supporting me at http://act.alz.org/goto/GwenStone24.